I`m putting on weight my belt has snapped
My trousers are under my waistline
My waist has increased by four inches
And all that my clothes do is pinch us
It`s not that I`m eating much more than I should
Or sitting round watching the telly
I haven`t a clue what`s happening here
Just what`s going on with my belly
Even the vet said we all should lose weight
Even though the poor dogs getting thinner
I feel like I`ve been in a pie eating contest
I`m beginning to look like the winner.